A Fullmetal Alchemist Interview
by Icey Alchemist
Summary: A friend and I interview fma characters! 1 INTERVIEW:Ling Yao,Scar,Envy. 2: Edward,Hohenheim,Kimblee. 3:Pinako,Winry,Al,Gluttony. 4:Roze,Armstrong,Shou Tucker 5:Havoc,Roy,Hughes. 6:Greed,Lust,Wrath 7:Dante,Sloth,Pride 8:Nina, Elysia and Selim
1. Scar, Ling and Envy

This is an interview. The interviewers are me (named Sloth. But not really sloth, it's only a nickname.) and a friend (named Pride, But not really Pride, it's only a nickname.) I hope it's not that confusing. I underlined the interviewer for you.

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All characters,except for the interviewers, don't belong to me.

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It's based on the fullmetal alchemist manga. Just pretend that they know what halloween is.

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**Note to Pride:** Yeah, I didn't really ask if you wanted to be in it, but I couldn't interview Ling without you being there. It just wouldn't be right! So if you want me to remove this story, I will.

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**Pride**: Okay! Welcome todays interview! Now who will we be interviewing first? Sloth? 

**Sloth**: (looks at a piece of crumpled up paper and tries to read it) Umm...I think it says...Ling Yao, Envy and Scar! Yay! Envy!

**Pride**: Lllllllllllllllllliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggggg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Scar**: (walks in and sits down. He starts to glare angerly at his arm.)

**Sloth**: (picks up a cookie from the center table and shows it to Scar) Want a cookie, Scar? It might make you haaaaappy!

**Scar**: (says nothing.)

**Envy**: (walks in and kicks over one of the two chairs that were left. He sits down at the still standing one.) Hurry up, let's get this over with already!

**Pride**: Envy, was that really necessary? Now were is Ling gonna sit?

**Envy**: Shut up! I don't need some...human..telling me what and what not to do!

**Pride**: Well, Sorry. (sarcastically)

**Sloth: **(Is just staring blankly at Envy in shock)

**Envy**: What do you want?!?!?!

**Sloth:** Envy! Envy! Envy! Envy! Envy! Envy! Envy! Envy! Envy! Envy! Envy! Envy! Envy! Envy!

**Envy:** Uhhh...

**Ling:** (walks in, picks up the other chair and sits down on it. Smiling the whole time.) There we go! Hello Everybody! (he waves hyperly with both hands.)

**Scar:** Hi.

**Envy**: Stop being so happy!

**Sloth**: Hi!

**Pride**: (stands up) LING ROX UR SOX!!!!!!!!!

**Ling**: I...do...? Um...Yeah! I do!

**Pride:** (claps) Yeah! Ling! Yeah!

**Sloth**: (pulls out the crumpled up paper and reads it) FIRST QUESTION! If it was halloween, what would you dress up as?

**Scar**: I don't celebrate halloween.

**Ling**: C'mon Scar! Quit being such a downer! Pick a costume!

**Scar:** I don't want to!

**Sloth:** It's okay, you don't need to answer if you don't want to. What would you dress up as, Envy?

**Pride**: (snickers) A palm tree, maybe?

**Envy:** Grrrr... (walks over to Pride, ready to kill someone.)

**Pride:** (Rolls on ground laughing)

**Sloth:** Violance is the answer!

**Ling:** Whoa! Envy! No need to kill anyone! (he pulls Envy back into his seat.)

**Scar:** I think I'll go now. (stands up and leaves)

**Ling:** (Waves) bye Scaaaaaaaaaaaar!!

**Pride**: Ah, well. Would would you dress up as, Ling?

**Ling:** Umm...Let's see...I guess I'd have to dress up as a ...panda!

**Pride:** A...Panda?

**Envy**: (laughs) What a loser!

**Sloth:** A Panda! Xiao Mei?!?! Where?!?! Where's Xiao Mei?!? I wanna see!

(Xiao Mei comes running in.)

**Sloth**: (picks up the panda and puts it on her lap. Petting non-stop.) Panda, Panda, Panda, I gots a panda!

**Envy:** Why does she get a panda? I want a panda!

**Ling**: No fair!

**Sloth: **No! Mine!

**Pride:** You are all a buch of babies!

**Ling:** (stands up and goes into a cool pose) Cool babies!

**Envy & Sloth: **. . . (sweat drop)

**Pride:** Oh, sexy.

**Ling:** (sits back down.) Whats the next question?

**Sloth:** Ummm... let's see... (reads her paper) Oh! If you had a million dollars what would you do with it?

**Envy:** (evil smile.) I would watch humans suffer and die!

**Pride:** Eek! (scoots away)

**Sloth:** 'At's Pretty evil.

**Ling:** Violence is bad! (throws cookies at Envy.)

**Pride**: Yeah! Go Ling!

**Sloth**: (Picks up a chair and hits Ling on the head) Stop it! Stop throwing stuff at Envy!

**Envy**: Ack! Idiot! (wacks the cookies away.)

**Pride:** So... moving on...what would you do with it Ling?

**Ling:** Oh, I dunno. Probably whatever I want.

**Sloth:** Yah, great answer. (sarcastically.)

**Ling:** What? I liked my answer...

**Pride:** Yeah, leave Ling alone. (pats ling on the shoulder.)

**Sloth:** (looks at her watch) And that's all for today!

**Eveybody but Envy: **Waves bye to the audience.

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**That's it! I hope you liked it! Please comment!**


	2. Hohenheim, Kimblee, Ed and Gluttony

**Note : same as the first chapter, Sloth and Pride are me (sloth) and my friend (pride). NOT the characters from fullmetal alchemist. I underlined the inteviewers again.**

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And... I still don't own fullmetal alchemist.

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Sloth: Hey people! (waves) Today we're taking the interview outside! 

**Pride**: Great. Now who are we interviewing today, Sloth?

**Sloth:** (reads her notepad) It says here that today we will interview Edward, Kimblee, Hohenheim, and. . and . .grrr….

**Pride:** (looks confused) Well, who's the fourth one?

**Sloth**: (spazes onn paper and rips it up, then throws it on the ground and stomps on it) I need fire! Where's Roy! Where is he?!?

**Pride**: (looks scared) Who…Who was it…?

**Sloth:** It was…(looks disgusted) Gluttony!

**Pride:** (points randomly to several feet away) Look! It's Kimblee!

**Sloth:** And hohenheim! Yay, Hohenheim! Yay!

**Kimblee**: (walks up to Sloth and Pride) Good. I'm here. Now .. . WHAT THE HECK DO YOU WANT?!

**Hohenheim:** (walks up too) Hello, girls.

**Pride:** (Runs up to Kimblee) Oh my god! It's a rat-tailed mullet! Can I poke it? Can I touch it Kimblee? Can I? Can I?

**Sloth:** Wow, Pride, it's your dream come true, a real rat-tailed mullet!

**Kimblee:** Get lost! (tries to turn Pride into a bomb but misses)

**Sloth: **(randomly bursts out laughing) Hah! A rat-tailed mullet! Heh-heh...

**Edward:** (walks up to the group) Hey! (waves)

**Sloth, Hohenheim & Pride:** (waves back)

**Kimblee**: (yawns) Can I go yet?

**Pride**: No! Sloth, question! Now!

**Sloth:** (hurries to take out a new piece of paper from her pocket) Umm..yeah. If you were an animal, what animal would it be?

**Edward:** What a stupid question! Who makes up this garbage?!

**Pride:** Sloth does.

**Sloth:** Yeah.

**Hohenheim:** (itches his chin) Hmmm...I'd have to say I'd be a...a...ummm...a tree!

**Pride:** An ANIMAL, retard! (throws a rock at hohenheim)

**Hohenheim:** (looks sad)

**Sloth**: Yeah, say an animal.

**Hohenheim:** An animal? Then I'd definitly be a dragon.

**Sloth**: A dragon's not an animal.

**Pride: **You never said it had to be a real animal! So then, a dragon is an animal.

**Kimblee:** Is not!

**Hohenheim**: (looks calm) Oh. I thought it was.

**Edward:** Well you were WRONG!

**Kimblee**: Well you're SHORT! You would be a mouse!

**Sloth**: (gasps) Kimblee!

**Edward:** What?! Excuse me?! (starts to spaz all over the place) Who are you calling so short that people mistake me for a mouse?!

**Gluttony:** (randomly waddles up) A mouse? Where? Can I eat it?

**Pride:** There is no mouse.

**Sloth:** (stares angerly at Gluttony) Gluttony...

**Gluttony**: (sucking on his finger inocently rocking back and forth then looks up) Hrmm?

**Pride:** I would run if I were you.

**Gluttony:** (slowly waddles off, looking confused)

**Sloth:** (looks sad) Awww...But I didn't get to kill him...

**Hohenheim**: There's no need to be so violent.

**Kimblee:** BORED! Next question?

**Pride**: Alright. (steals Sloth's paper) Your favourite color?

**Edward**: Gold, 'cause it's the color of my hair and eyes.

**Kimblee:** Why should I care?

**Sloth:** (stares at Kimblee for a few seconds then blinks ) Good enough. What about you, hohenheim?

**Hohenheim:** Purple, it's what Trisha always wore. (he sighs deeply)

**Sloth**: Kay, moving on... (takes her paper back) If could be a food, what food would you be and why?

**Pride: **(laughes) Good question. (sarcasticly)

**Sloth:** (ignores Pride) Edward? You first.

**Edward:** Dunno...

**Kimblee:** Food is useless.

**Hohenheim**: hmmm...food you say... (scratches his head)

**Pride**: Too bad Gluttony isn't here.

**Sloth:** (wacks everyone with her paper) Gosh! You guys are hopeless!

**Kimblee**: (blows up Sloth's paper then acts inocent)

**Pride:** Yay! Do it again Kimblee! Do it again! (cheers)

**Sloth:** I'm not paying for a new paper, you are, y'know.

**Edward**: Look what you did! Now we won't ever know the next question!

**Pride:** So what? I'll just make one up randomly.

**Sloth:** K, go!

**Pride**: Okay, well...umm...let's see...uh...PRESENT EXCHANGE TIME! Did you bring your present Kimblee? You're giving to Hohenheim.

**Sloth:** Hohenheim, you're giving to Edward.

**Edward**: And, I guess that leaves me with Kimlbee then.

**Kimblee:** So what do I get, Edward?

**Edward:** (transmutes a little poorly made stone horse out of the ground and shows it to Kimblee) There ya go!

**Kimblee:** (blows it up) You suck. (He takes a twig off the ground and gives it to Hohenheim)

**hohenheim**: This...is your present?

**Kimblee:** Hey, stop complaining and give one to the shrimp.

**Pride:** (backs away from Ed when he starts to look angry) Ignore it Ed.

**Hohenheim:** I, um...don't have a present, I'm sorry.

**Pride:** (gasps) You're fired, Hohenheim.

**Hohenheim:** But, I never worked for you? (looks confused)

**Sloth:** Yeah, well you do now.

**Edward:** It's okay, I don't need a present from you. It probably would have been something bad anyways.

**Sloth:** (her digital watch beeps) Oop. Time's up. (looks at camera) See you all tomorow!

**Pride:** Bye! (waves)

**Hohenehim & Edward:** (waves)

**Kimlbee:** (Is already half way down the street.)


	3. Pinako, Alphonse and Winry

**Note : same as the first two chapters, Sloth and Pride are me (sloth) and my friend (pride). NOT the characters from fullmetal alchemist. I underlined the inteviewers again to make everthing a little less confusing.**

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**

**And... I still don't own fullmetal alchemist.**

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**This chapter is based on the anime.**

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**Pride:** (looks up to the sky) It's cloudy today and it looks like it's about to rain. What a horrible day to do an interview.

**Sloth**: Well, we won't be outside for long, today we're interviewing inside. Good thing.

**Pride:** Who're we interviewing anyway?

**Sloth:** Winry Rockbell, Pinako Rockbell and Alphonse Elric.

**Pride & Sloth:** (walk into the Rockbell house)

**Pinako:** Oh, you're here, finally. Sit down, sit down...

**Alphonse:** (stands up, almost knoking over the table) Opps, sorry. (he gets two chairs ready for the interviewers, straightens the table then sits back down.)

**Winry:** (places an apple pie in the middle of the table) Here, help yourselves. (points to herself proudly) I made it myself with the oven I invented, with the easy temperature setting mechanism, temperature control and built in timmer! It only took me half a day!

**Sloth:** (raises her thumb) Good job! But I, don't really like apple pie.

**Pride:** Really? Just help ourselves? Okay. (takes a slice of the pie and starts to eat it)

**Alphonse:** (puts the rest of the pie inside of him) Thanks, Winry! Brother will love it!

**Pinako:** (looks annoyed) Let's start the interview.

**Sloth**: Umm..right! First question, well, it's not exactly a question, it's more like a well...I guess it could be a question if you really think it is. I have a list of words. I say one of the words and you blurt out the first thing that comes to mind!

**Alphonse**: Sounds fun!

**Sloth:** Kay, first word, 3, 2, 1...HAMSTER!

**Winry:** DEN!

**Alphonse:** KITTIE!

**Pinako**: Cigaret. (she pulls out her pipe and takes a couple of puffs on it)

**Pride:** KIMBLEE!

**Alphonse, Winry & Pinako: **(stare at Pride for a couple of seconds)

**Winry:** Kimblee...Isn't he in the military or something?

**Pride:** Yeah.

**Sloth:** Now let's try something different. (takes a notebook from her pocket and opens it up, showing a blotch of ink.) What do you see when you look at this? Just say the first thing that comes to mind, like the last question.

**Winry:** AUTOMAIL!

**Sloth:** Wow. I couldn't have guessed that. (sarcastic)

**Pinako:** It's an ink spot. There's nothing more about it. I don't see the point.

**Alphonse**: Ummm...uh...let's see...It could be...uh...no, not that...

**Pride:** Winry, could I borrow your wrench for a second?

**Winry:** Sure, why? (hands her wrench to Pride) Just don't break it.

**Pride:** (runs up to Alphonse and hits him with the wrench) BAD! (continues to hit him)

**Alphonse:** Ah! Stop it! What!?

**Pride:** You're supposed to say the first thing that comes to mind! Not think about it!

**Sloth:** (walks to Pride) Ooo...Pride, can I try? It looks fun.

**Pride:** Yep. (hands the wrench to Sloth)

**Winry:** (grabs her wrench back before Sloth can start to hit Alphonse who is by now huddled under the table) No! No one else can try! You'll break it!

**Pinako:** STOP FIGHTING AND SIT DOWN!

**Winry,** **Alphonse,** **Sloth and** **Pride**: (quickly sit down)

**Pride:** What's next on your paper?

**Sloth**: Oh! Um...you all need to say something you hate about the person sitting to the right of you and somethig you like about the person sitting to the left of you.

**Pride:** Al! You first!

**Alphonse:** Why me! (looks to his right where Pinako was sitting) Well, Pinako, I don't like...umm...that you always smell like smoke! It reminds me of when I was on Yock island, starving.

**Pinako:** Meh. (takes a puff of her pipe and blows some smoke out of her mouth) Can't be helped.

**Sloth:** (glares at Pinako) Smoking is bad, y'know.

**Pinako:** (ignores Sloth) Winry, I hate that you never clean up after yourself.

**Winry:** Al, I hate that I can never know when your sleeping.

**Pride:** Why? Why do you want to know when he's sleeping?

**Winry:** Um..no reason...

**Sloth:** Okay then. Pinako, since your the oldest, you go first. What do you like about Al?

**Pinako:** Hey! I'm not that old! (stands up, poping noise happens, she sits back down.) Ow, my back. Ignore that!

**Pride:** (laughes) Sure, you're not old at all. (sarcastic)

**Pinako:** Shut up!

**Sloth:** (looks at her watch) What do you know, times up.

**Pride:** That's it for today's ineterview! bye!

**Pinako, Winry, Alphonse, Sloth & Pride**: (wave, Winry waving with her wrench)


	4. Shou Tucker, Armstrong & Roze

**Note : same as the first three chapters, Sloth and Pride are me (sloth) and my friend (pride). NOT the characters from fullmetal alchemist. I underlined the inteviewers again to make everthing a little less confusing.**

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**And... I still don't own fullmetal alchemist.**

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**This chapter is based on the anime so that means that Shou Tucker is in his chimera form.**

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**Sloth:** (yawns) Another day, another interview. You can ask the questions today, Pride, I don't feel like it. (hands her notebook to Pride) 

**Pride**: Okay, so who do we have marked down here for the interview today? Let's see..(reads the notebook) it says Alex-Luis Armstrong, Shou Tucker and Roze Thompson. This'll be tons of fun. Woot. Better put these on. (puts on sunglasses and hands a pair to Sloth) They'll pertect us from the sparkles.

**Sloth:** ...thanks. (puts them on)

**Roze:** (comes walking in the room and sits dwon on one on the chairs) Hey guys!

**Sloth:** Hi!

**Pride:** Hey! (waves)

**Armstrong:** (walks into the room and sits down) Hello.

**Sloth:** Thanks goodness he kept his shirt on.

**Roze:** Shhhhh! Quiet! You don't want him to take it off do you?! (whispers to Sloth)

**Armstong:** (reaches to pull his shirt off) Oh! Would you like me to?

**Pride:** NO! cough, cough I mean, maybe that's not a good idea. Just sit down.

**Armstrong:** I will later then. (sits down)

**Shou:** (walks in and sits down) I see I'm the last to...arrive.

**Roze:** (stares at Shou)

**Shou:** What would you like...? Hmmm?

**Roze:** You're head, why is it upside down?

**Shou:** It's not...

**Sloth:** Yes it is!

**Shou:** It is?

**Armstrong:** Shall we start the interview?

**Shou:** Good idea.

**Pride:** Uhuh. First question, What's your favourite hobby or something that you enjoy doing?

**Shou:** I enjoy...studying books on chimeras and I guess my hobby would be trying..to bring back my Nina but I can't say I enjoy that...not at all ...

**Roze**: I like to help people and play with the local children!

**Sloth**: (makes sure her sun glasses are secure on her head) Armstrong, you can skip this question if you want.

**Armstrong:** Me? Skip the question? No...I think not. My hobby would be (rips off his shirt, exposing his huge muscles. He flexes, sending pink sparkles all over the room, blinding everyone) training my body to its utmost potential. Its a hobby that's been passed down through the Armstrong family line for generations! (he flexes some more, sending even more pink sparkles around the room) Behold the beauty!

**Roze:** We don't need to see that, Armstrong. (shields her eyes from the shine and sweat drops)

**Pride:** Ah! Stop it! Just stop it! Yes! Yes, it's beautiful! Just put your shirt back on! (ducks behind her chair)

**Sloth:** Ah! The light, it hurts! (covers her face)

**Shou:** (looks confused) Armstong, put ...your shirt back on.

**Armstrong:** (puts his shirt back on and sits down) You should be gratefull that I gave you the honour of seeing that.

**Pride:** Um...no. (sits back on her chair)

**Sloth:** Yeah. (rubs her eyes)

**Roze:** Next question?

**Pride:** Yep, whats your favourite ...bev...beav...bera...beer...? Sloth, what did you write? I can't read it.

**Roze:** Beer? I don't drink.

**Sloth:** Give it to me! (grabs her notebook back from Pride) BEVERAGE! What's your favourite BEVERAGE?!?

**Pride:** So that's what it said.

**Roze:** I like milk, 1 percent, 2 percent, skim or chocolate! It's all good to me!

**Sloth:** Shou? You?

**Shou:** Coffee...yes...coffee is nice...it gives me enrgy...energy to fuse...animals...

**Armstrong:** I drink the finest of energy drinks made from a combination of the most nutritiuos of fruits and vegtables know to man! (pulls a bottle out of his pocket and shows it to Pride) Why, I have some right here, would you care to try a sip?

**Pride**: (pushes it away) Thats, all right. I'm fine.

**Armstrong:** (shows it to Sloth) How about you?

**Sloth:** (pushes it away) Uh...no.

**Shou:** It would be interestint to...make a chimera from...plants...I think...

**Roze:** Really? You can do that?

**Shou**: I...am testing to see...but there are no definite...answers...

**Pride:** (looks at clock on the wall) Oh, look at that! Times up! That's it for today's interview!

**Sloth**: See ya tommorrow!


	5. Roy, Havoc, Hughes

**Note : same as the first four chapters, Sloth and Pride are me (sloth) and my friend (pride). NOT the characters from fullmetal alchemist. I underlined the inteviewers again to make everthing a little less confusing.**

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**Fullmetal Alchemist: Another one of the many things in this world not owned by me**

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Oh, and guess what the interviews have from this chapter on...MICROPHONES! I decided to let them each have on kinda as a fifth chapter anniversary present. Anyway, so now Sloth and Pride each carry around a microphone with them everywhere they go.

**Sloth:** To much to carry...(grabs microphone anyway)

**Pride:** Yay! I've always wanted a microphone! (grabs microphone excitedly) I have so many good ideas of what to do with it! (takes out a piece of paper and pen) Here, I'll write them down before I forget! (accidently drops pen) Oops.

**Sloth:** (laughs)

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**Sloth:** So (yawns) early. I'm tired. Why does, today's interview start so early? 

**Pride:** Because we're interviewing people from the military and we need to get to them before the start work for the day.

**Sloth:** Military? Who? (grabs paper from Pride) Roy Mustang, Maes Hughes and Jean Havoc.

**Pride:** ...MAES HUGHES!

**Sloth:** Uhuh.

**Sloth & Pride**: (walk into Mustang's office were Maes, Roy and Havoc are already sitting down, waiting for them. They both sit down)

**Roy:** Good, now hurry up. I have a lot of work to get done today.

**Maes**: Oh! You're here already? Take these! (gives each of the interviewers a picture of Elicia)

**Havoc:** (calmly smoking a cigarete)

**Sloth:** 'kay (puts the photo in her pocket)

**Pride:** Why are you giving us these? Wouldn't you want to keep them all for yourself so then you can have more than anynone? (puts the photo in her pocket anyway)

**Maes:** Oh, no, not at all. I like to spread the joy! (he hands one to Havoc) And Roy, I already gave you five this morning so don't go asking for another one!

**Roy:** But I wouldn't want another one.

**Maes:** Don't be silly! Everyone wants one!

**Sloth:** They do?

**Jean:** (hands his back to Maes) Well, not me.

**Maes:** (looks sad and confused)

**Pride:** Where's Black Hayate?

**Sloth**: Yeah.

**Roy:** Can we just get started already? I told you, I have a busy day.

**Pride**: I guess so, (leans over to read off her paper that Sloth was holding) if you could find any random piece of garbage on the floor, what would it be and why?

**Havoc:**What kind of interview quesion is that? Really?

**Pride:** A good one.

**Sloth:** Geez. Just answer already.

**Maes:** I would want to find a camera! A fully fonctioning one! With film left in it!

**Sloth:** How is that garbage?

**Maes:** Ummm...uh...want a picture of Elicia?

**Pride:**..no...you already gave me one, remember?

**Havoc:** I would want to find a cigarete!

**sloth:** Wow. I couldn't see that comming. (sarcastic)

**Havoc:** What? (takes a puff of his cigarete then bursts out in a coughing fit)

**Pride:** Are you okay? (walks up to see Jean)

**Havoc:** Yes (coughs) I'm (coughs, again) fine (cough, cough, cough...COUGH!)

**Sloth:** Oh no! I knew smoking was bad! You have to get rid of the smokes! (steals Havoc's pack of smokes and throws it out the window) There we go! All fixed!

**Pride:** But he'll just go buy some more. I know! Jean, give me your money! (holds out her hand)

**Havoc:** (is in complete shock, and mummbles something) M-my smokes... (ignores Pride)

**Roy:** (laughs) You should've done that a long time ago, second lieutenant.

**Maes:** (looks over at Jean who wasn't moving and was just staring into space) Jean? Are you okay?

**Havoc:** (continues his blank staring)

**Pride:** Oh no! Look what you did, Sloth! You broke Jean!

**Sloth:** Um..uh...(laughs nervously) I'm sure he'll be fine!

**Pride:** I dunno...

**Jean:** ...smokes...?

**Sloth:** NO! (quickly turns to Mustang) What garbage would you want to find?

**Roy:** Nothing. Garbage is useless. (lights the office garbage can on fire)

**Pride:** Interesting. (sarcastic)

**Sloth:** Omigosh! A fire, ah!

**Maes:** Leave it to me. (puts out fire by whacking it with a chair)

**Sloth:** Yay!

**Pride:** What's the next question?

**Sloth:** (reads her paper) Oh! This question is only for you, Mustang!

**Roy:** Can't wait. (sarcastic)

**Sloth:** Kay, Mustang, ummm...I can't think of a question...

**Pride:** What? What do you mean! Isn't it written down on your paper? (looks at the paper, it's empty, the only question on it was the question that she had just asked and the names of the people they were interviewing.)

**Sloth:** It's not my fault! The interview's so early, and I slept in, so I had no time to make up questions!

**Maes:** It's okay, I should be leaving now anyway, Elicia and Gracia are waiting for me! (runs out of room, smiling)

**Mustang:** Good, now I can get back to my work. Then I will be one step closser to acheiving my goal as Fuhrer!

**Pride:** Oh! Oh! Say that into the microphone! (shoves micrphone into Roys face)

**Mustang:** No. Leave.

**Sloth:** (holds micrphone up to her mouth) And that's it for today!

**Havoc:** You owe me cigartes.

**Sloth & Pride:** (Walk out of the room.)

**Sloth:** Maybe he'll forget.

**Pride:** Yeah!


	6. Greed, Lust & Wrath

**Note : Same as the first five chapters, Sloth and Pride are me (sloth) and my friend (pride). NOT the characters from fullmetal alchemist. I underlined the inteviewers again to make everthing a little less confusing.**

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**Another Note: I repeat for the sixth time, I don't own fullmetal alchemist. But claps to Hiromu Arakawa, who does.**

**Sloth & Pride:** (clap)

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**_This chapter is based on the anime._**

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**Sloth: **So, who now? 

**Pride:** (reads a piece of paper) Today we get to interview Greed, Wrath and Lust.

**Sloth:** Y'know I've never really realized how randomly picked the people we interview are.

**Pride:** Guess so, so...we're here now! (points to the Devil's Nest, it's sevreal metres away)

**Sloth:** Yay! I can't wait to see if I'm taller than Wrath!

**Pride & Sloth:** (Walk into the devil's nest and sit down beside Greed on his couch)

**Pride:** (pokes Greed's leg) Wow...real pimp pants.

**Sloth:** Oh, I wanna feel too! (prodes Greed's other leg) Wow. Leather.

**Greed:** (feels his leg) I know, isn't it nice...HEY! Stop feeling me, you freaks!

**Pride:** Sorry.

**Sloth:** So...(looks around) Wrath! How are you?

**Wrath:** How should I know! My life sucks! I hate you all!

**Pride:** Woah!

**Sloth:** You don't think that's a little harsh, Wrath?

**Lust:** He just gets like that when he's not around Sloth.

**Greed:** Momma's boy. (laughs)

**Wrath:** (starts to look angry) What did you just say?!

**Pride:** Stop it, Greed's right. Accept it.

**Sloth:** Kay, first question---

**Pride:** I'm thirsty.

**Sloth:** Hey! I was talking!

**Greed:** (holds out a bottle of booze) Here, try some.

**Pride:** Yeah! (reaches out to grab the bottle)

**Lust:** (grabs the bottle before Pride can) Greed! I can't beleive you! You can't just go around handing out alcohol to minors!

**Wrath:** Why not, alcohol's good, Envy sometimes gives me some.

**Lust:** (rolls her eyes) Can we start already!

**Sloth:** Yup, first question, if you could smell anything right now, what would you smell?

**Wrath:** STUPID QUESTION! I refuse to answer.

**Pride:** Okay, then, I'll just make up an amswer for you. (scribbles something down in her notebook)

**Wrath:** What?! What did you put?!

**Pride:** Nothing...

**Sloth:** Wrath, why don't you get a haircut?

**Wrath:** (calms down and looks confused)

**Pride:** Yeah, you should get spikey hair, like Greed.

**Greed:** (feels his hair)

**Lust:** Or if you want it long, you should at least style it somehow.

**Wrath:** But I like me hair. And how is this a better question?!

**Pride:** We never said it would be.

**Sloth:** (yawns) I'm tired of always thinking of questions, how about you ask each other questions?

**Lust:** How lazy can you be! You're the interviewers! Not us!

**Greed:** No, It's not half bad of an idea, Lust. I have a good question to ask Wrath, you can answer too if you feel like it.

**Wrath:** What is it!

**Greed:** Okay, Wrath and Lust. (leans closer to Wrath) What would you do if you were forced to be all by yourself for years and years in somewhere dark and scary. Somewhere like the...(pauses)...like the...(pauses again)...GATE!

**Wrath:** (starts to cry) Whaaa! Whaa! No! Not the gate, nooo! Don't make me go there, never! (curls into a ball on the floor and continues to cry) No, not the gate...! Whaa!

**Sloth:** Well, that was mean.

**Greed:** (laughs) Poor little Wrath... (sarcastic) And what if all you could hear during those years of isolation was the sound of infants crying?

**Wrath:** (cries even harder)

**Pride:** Greed, did you really have to add that in!

**Lust:** But you have to admit, it is kind of funny.

**Sloth:** Well, kinda...maybe...

**Pride:** Say something, Greed! Look how sad Wrath is!

**All but Wrath:** (Look over to Wrath who didn't calm down at all)

**Sloth:** I'm sure that if we ignore him he'll stop. Where's Sloth when you need her? The other Sloth.

**Pride:** Dunno.

**Greed:** (laughs at Wrath some more then looks at the interviewers) Do you have any questions now?

**Pride:** Yeah, we had lots of questions on our paper the whole time, what do you mean "do you have any questions now"?

**Lust:** What? Then why did you say that you wanted us to make up questions?

**Sloth:** (shrugs) I was bored. Ah well, next question. (reads her paper) Which one do you wanna ask next, Pride?

**Pride:** Umm...let's see...(Grabs Sloth's paper, crumples it up)

**Sloth:** What are you doing?!

**Pride**: Should I throw it at Lust? (whispers to Sloth)

**Sloth:** No! We might get fired! (whispers back at Pride)

**Pride**: So, what? It's not like we even get paid for this! (whispers back)

**Sloth:** Mm..kay. Go ahead...(whispers to Pride)

**Pride:** (throws the paper at Lust)

**Lust:** (dodges it) What are you doing?

(The crumpled paper flew past Lust and hit Greed in the head, sticking onto one of his hair points)

**Pride, Sloth & Lust:** (laugh)

**Greed:** (doesn't know it's there) What? Why are you laughing at me!

**Wrath:** Look up and sees the crumpled up paper stuck to Greed's point, he starts to laugh too)

**Greed:** Shut up!

**Sloth:** (yawns and looks at her watch) Ah well, time to finish to interview?

**Pride:** Yeah.

**Greed:** Wait! Tell me why you were laughing!

**Sloth:** No! It's over.

**Lust:** Well, that was fun.

**Wrath, Lust, Pride & Sloth**: (wave) to the camera that was sitting on the table)

**Pride & Sloth**: Bye!

**Greed:** (looks around the room paranoid.)


	7. Dante, Sloth and Pride

**Note : Same as the first six chapters, Sloth and Pride are me (sloth) and my friend (pride). NOT the characters from fullmetal alchemist. I underlined the inteviewers again to make everthing a little less confusing. And it will most likely be very confusing because there's two Sloths and two Prides, but just remember, the interviewers are underlined.**

* * *

**And if you didn't already know, I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist.**

* * *

_**This chapter is based on the anime. And Dante is in Lyra's body.**_

* * *

**Sloth:** At least the people..um, things...that we're interviewing are comming to us today. We don't have to move at all. 

**Pride**: Pride, Sloth and Dante, right?

**Sloth:** Yup, and here they come! (points to the studio entrance, Dante was walking in, followed closley by Pride and Sloth)

**Dante:** Hi. (sits down beside Pride.)

**Pride:** Nice room. It's a happy room! (sits down beside Dante)

**Pride:** Yeah...happy...

**Sloth:** Hey Sloth!!! Come sit down! There's lots of room here!

**Sloth:** (sits down beside Sloth) What now?

Acward silence.

**Pride:** So-- (gets distracted by Pride in mid sentence)

**Pride:** (Starts to poke Dante in her eye with her microphone)

**Dante:** (jumps away) Ah! What are you doing?! Stop that, right now!

**Pride:** Mi scusi, mi scusi...

**Sloth**: (laughs)

**Sloth & Pride**: (look coonfused)

**Dante:** (Sits down as far away as possible from Pride) What's wrong with you?

**Sloth:** (stops laughing) Kay, let's start now. First question, if you could have any hair style, what would you get?

**Pride:** Oh! Oh! I know! Pride would get a mullet!

**Pride:** (chuckles) No, no...I hardly think I have enough hair for that. The only hair style I can have is short hair, well, I s'pose I could consider dyeing. Purple! Purple is a happy color! I could dye my hair purple!

**Sloth**: I _hate_ purple... (stares angerly at Sloth's purple dress)

**Sloth:** What's wrong with pruple? Dante's always wearing that color too.

**Sloth:** It's too, too...dunno, I guess I just don't like it.

**Pride:** What hair style would you have, Dante?

**Sloth:** Oh, I can answer that one, Dante would obviously get an afro!

**Dante:** I can answer my own questions, thank you. I would have wavey hair because it's the style I had when I was in my origninal body and the style I had when I first used the philosopher's stone to transfer Hohenheim's soul. (starts daydreaming about hohenheim)

**Pride**: All right! Next question!

**Sloth:** What about me?

**Sloth:** What _about_ you?!

**Sloth:** Oh, nothing... (looks annoyed)

**Sloth:** (yawns) I'm tired...

**Sloth:** Me too.

**Dante:** I see Pride has fallen asleep.

**Pride:** (is sleeping in his chair, snoring)

**Sloth:** I guess Selim must have tired him out, I hate that annoying kid.

**Pride:** No sleeping during the interview! (dumps a glass of water on Pride's head)

**Pride:** (wakes up and stretches) Hmmm...what a nice little nap!

**Sloth:** I wish I could have one, but I probably wouldn't be able to fall asleep here.

**Dante:** Yeah, this pillows are fairly lumpy. (grabs a pillow and tries to fluff it up)

**Sloth:** If you're really tired you could fall asleep without a pillow!

**Pride:** (grabs Dante's pillow and hits her in the head with it) Pillow fight!

**Sloth:** (grabs a pillow and joins Pride in the whacking of Dante's head) Yeah!

**Dante:** (Ducks under the center table) What do you think your doing?! You can't fo this to me! I'm the shepheard of sins!

**Pride & Sloth:** (sit back down)

**Pride**: That was fun.

**Sloth:** And random. (reads her paper) Okay! What's your favourite thing to do when you have nothing to do?

**Dante**: Why would I tell you? Who knows who you might pass the information on to?

**Sloth:** It was only a question...

**Pride:** Pride?

**Pride:** Oh, ho ho (chuckles)! I think you already know.

**Sloth:** NOTHING!

**Sloth:** Wow.

**Pride:** You guys sure are bad at answering questions. Let's try again...(reads her paper) blurt out something random...NOW!

**Dante:** ...? ...what...? (looks confused)

**Sloth**: ... (stares at Pride funny)

**Pride:** (scratches his chin and smiles) ...dunno...

**Pride:** (pokes Dante with her microphone) C'mon!

**Dante:** (whacks the microphone away) Stop that! What is that? Like the third time you've poked me or hit me with something today?! I'm leaving! C'mon, Pride. C'mon, Sloth, let's go. (all three walk out)

**Sloth:** I guess it's over for today then?

**Pride**: ...Yeah!


	8. Nina, Selim, Elysia

**Note : Same as the first seven (wheeee seven!) chapters, Sloth and Pride are me (sloth) and my friend (pride). NOT the characters from fullmetal alchemist. I underlined the inteviewers again to make everthing a little less confusing. But then again, I'm sure you knew that by now.**

* * *

**_I don't own fma, never did. And most likely never will._**

* * *

Nina and Elysia are from the anime but Selim is from the manga.

And I guess I should warn you about spoilers.

* * *

**Yay! There's been seven chaps! This story has entered the seven-grouped things along with seven world wonders, seven deadly sins, seven days of the week, seven homunculi, lucky number seven, and other seven stuff. As a seven chapter gift, the interviewers will from this point on be wearing hats. But not just any hats, _special_ hats. Sloth's hat is orange and shaped like a hamster with a picture of Envy on it, and Pride's hat is green and has a picture of Kakashi smoking a cigare and hitting Gaara on the head with a baseball bat.**

* * *

**Pride:** Wooooowwww... Seven whole interviews... (pokes at her hat) We must be interviewing some real special and exiting people today! Right, Sloth? 

**Sloth:** Let's see. (reads her paper) Elysia Hughes, Nina Tucker and Selim Bradley. ...Hey! You have a paper too! Couldn't you've had read your own?!

**Pride:** Meh, probably. Oh well, let's go in.

**Sloth & Pride:** (Walk into Hughes house, no one was in there but the three children, and they were all sitting on the floor cross-legged in front of the couch)

**Nina:** Hi big sisters! Came to play wit us?

**Sloth:** No, actually, we came to interview you guys.

**Selim:** Oh, com'n...

**Elysia:** Dat's borring...

**Pride & Sloth:** (Sit down on the couch)

**Pride:** First question! What's your favourite texture?

**Nina:** What a textour?

**Elysia:** No, Nina, it taxtear!

**Selim:** I'm positive it's textature.

**Sloth:** No, it's TEXTURE! T-E-X-T-U-E!

**Nina, Elysia and Sleim: **Tue, tue, tue, tue... tue ... tue, tue... tue tue... TUE-TUE! (Ect... they stood up and started to run in circles waving their hands in the air)

**Sloth:** (Looks annoyed)

**Pride:** You forgot the "r" in texture. And a texture is how something feels when you touch it.

**Nina: **Oh! Kay-kay then. (runs up and rubs Pride sweater) I like dat textour!

**Elysia:** (rubs the sweater too) Me too!

**Selim:** I like soft stuff!

**Pride**: All good answers!

**Kids:** (sit back down and clap)

**Sloth:** 'Kay. I'll ask the next one, listen up. If you could...

**Nina:** Do what big sistah? Do wha...?

**Sloth:** (looks confused) I'm not you sister? Ah well, if you could... KILL! KILL anyone who would it be?!

**Pride:** ...violent enough...?

**Selim:** I try to avoid papa when he gets violent like that. It's scary.

**Elysia:** My dady wouldn't kill anyone. He nice. I wuv daddy.

**Nina:** I don't wanna die! I don't wanna kill nobody!

**Pride:** Maybe a different question?

**Sloth:** I guess you're right. I'll answer for them then. Elysia will most likely never kill anyone.

**Elysia:** (claps) Yay!

**Sloth:** Selim is Pride so he'll obviously kill, a lot.

**Selim:** Me? (looks at himself confused)

**Pride:** Uh-huh!

**Sloth:** And Nina is going to die in less then a year, so that kinda means that she will never kill anyone.

**Pride:** Did you have to say that?

**Nina:** (starts to cry and looks up at Pride) Priiiiiiiiiiide... I don' wanna die... wahhhhahhh...! Why do I hafta die, Pride, why...? (pulls at the sleve of Pride's sweater)

**Selim & Elysia: **(start to cry too)

**Pride:** (looks down at Nina) Aw, Sloth! Now what do we do! Their parents are going to be so mad!

**Sloth:** (thinks) I know! We can give them candy! (pulls a bag of candy out of her hat and gives some to each of the kids)

**Selim, Elysia & Nina: **(eat the whole bag of candy. They start to run around the room, throwing stuff everywhere, jumping on couches, screaming loudly, and breaking vases)

**Elysia:** (steals Pride's hat and throws it out the window, landing in a lack)

**Pride:** NOOOO! MY KAKASHI HAT! Bad Elysia!

**Elysia:** (hits Pride in the head) Bad! Bad!

**Pride:** Stop it!

**Elysia**: (stops and continues running around the room)

**Sloth:** (takes her hat off and sits on it) You should be more carefull, nobody's gonna take my Envy hat! NOBODY!

**Nina:** (grabs the envy hat and throws it out the window) Yay!

**Sloth:** No! Envy!

**Pride:** (laughes)

**Selim:** (knocks a picture off the wall) Oops!

**Nina & Elysia:** (start playing tag)

**Sloth:** What should we do? Hughes is comming to pick them up in ten minutes!

**Pride:** I could try using my cell phone to call a baby-sitter. (takes out cell phone)

**Sloth:** Yeah!

**Pride:** (opens up cell phone and dials a number) ... hello? Edward, is that you? ... Could you come here? ... ... To help us out. ... With Nina, Selim and Elysia! ... No, they're not hyper or anything (smiles) ... Fast, please. ... Well, you see, we're kinda short on time. ... (rolls eyes) ... Yes, Ed, I _am _saying you're a shrimp ... Whatever, just come as fast as you can ... bye ... (hangs up the phone and puts it away) Well, that was annoying.

**Sloth:** So?

**Pride:** Ed should be here any second!

**Nina, Elysia and Selim:** (haven't calmed down at all)

**Ed:** (walks in) I'm here! What did you ne--- (gets hit in the head by a pillow)

**Sloth and Pride:** (laugh)

**Ed:** HEY! YOU SAID THEY WEREN'T HYPER!

**Pride:** That's your fault for not finding out the details before you accept a job!

**Nina:** (pulls at Ed's Sleve) Big brother came to play?

**Elysia:** (jumps on Ed's back) Wee! Horsey ride! Horsey!

**Selim:** Eeeeeedwaaaard! (stares up at Ed)

**Ed:** Oh, no. (...)

**Pride:** Have fun, Ed. (walks out)

**Sloth:** Good luck. (follows Pride)

**Nina:** Bye-bye big sisters!

**Elysia:** Thanks for tha candy!

**Selim:** (pulls on Ed's braid)

**Ed:** Hey! Come back here you two! And handle your own problems!

**Sloth & Pride:** (are already two houses down)

**Pride:** He'll have fun. (sarcastic)

**Sloth:** Yeah!

* * *

_**If you want to, you can now suggest questions to ask or what characters to interview! (anime or manga!) Because I'm running low on ideas!**_


End file.
